A Few Silly Tears

I cried.

A couple times.

Not the break-down sobs. Although I do that too, on occasion.

But just tears. Watery eyes. Sniffles. You know...

I'll share my less warranted tears...because, well, there's a chance you can feel my silliness. Maybe you can even relate... ;) Or...maybe not.

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*Sitting at a Blues Club (Buddy Guy's Legends) in Chicago. The server taps the wine menu in front of me and demands my drink of choice. I gladly say water, but surprisingly fight back a tear or two. The server abruptly leaves and I sink into a funk. Just because. I can feel myself going. I try to metaphorically wave my arms for help. My mood drops. Tim reaches over to ask me what's wrong. How should I know? I'm on an incredible two-week long date with my love and sitting in one of the best known Blues clubs listening to captivating live music and munching on my jambalaya. Nothing is wrong. I truly am happy with my ice cold water and my life. Really...it doesn't get much better. Of course, as my hormones would have it, Tim's concerned look is just enough to open the flood gates. I'm quickly a mess...a couple tears, runny nose, red eyes. I leave to collect myself. Upon my return to the table, the server comes back around to see if I've changed my mind about that drink. I politely (holding back tears) ask if she can bring me a cup of coffee or hot tea. Unsympathetically (at least in my mind), my server retorts, "no." And leaves. Ouch! I spiral again. No tea? No coffee? How is that possible? A few more tears. I venture, again, to the ladies' room. I just can't get it together. And...I don't know why!!! Well, other than the new cocktail of pregnancy hormones, missing my daughter, the lack of coffee, and well... I'm stumped. I blame hormones. I felt so unlike myself that night. So not-in-control of my emotions. And...slightly embarrassed. Good thing the room was dark, the music was loud, and I didn't know a soul besides my hubby--who was graciously understanding.

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*It was Veteran's Day weekend...a month or so after returning from Chicago and NY. I was thrilled with the developing life of baby #2. As easily as the laughter came, so did the tears. Church that weekend was especially powerful as we honored veterans--both present and not. When the slide show cued and the live rendition of I'm Proud to be an American was belted out, I lost the fight with the tear drops that had been gathering in my eye lids. Pregnant or not, my eyes would probably water, but I usually have pretty good restraint. You know what song I'm talking about, right? It always gets me. In a very good way. But, this year, this time, my eyes let a few drops escape from their holding place! It's okay though, my church is big and no one was looking at me. I collected myself. ;) While I'm always patriotic, I think the baby hormones make me super-patriotic! So many emotions!

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*Okay...my last silly run-in with extra tears. Last month, I took my chance to have Tim watch B and I stole Tim's mom away for a chick-flick. Have you all seen New Year's Eve. It's cute. Probably even cuter thanks to my extra sentimental pregnancy brain. I may have had watery eyes all movie long ;), but there was one scene that made a few tears roll down my cheeks. Sarah Jessica Parker (playing a single mom) is on the hunt to find her teenage daughter who snuck out of the house on New Year's Eve. Abigail Breslin (the daughter) was, as expected in a chick flick, searching (in Times Square) for the cute high school boy she was crushing on. Just at the very moment she sees the boy in the crowd, another teenage girl goes in for a kiss with the boy at midnight. Abigail sees the kiss, falls apart, and runs through the packed crowd in the opposite direction. She immediately smacks right into...dun dun dun...her mom (SJP)! Naturally, the timing lined up divinely (as it always does in a movie). She looks up at her mom and falls into a big hug. Yup. That was the scene...in all its cheesiness and predictability. The whole mother-daughter thing. I can see myself as both the mother and the daughter. I cried a tiny bit. It was just a silly chick flick, but it got the best of my emotions....easily so!

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I guess I don't mind the emotional roller-coaster so much. It can be annoying or embarrassing at times, but it's not really how I am all the time. I chalk it up to this amazing, God-given opportunity to have a baby knit together in me! I love all the good stuff and hard stuff that comes with this process. It's unique, beautiful, and sometimes messy.

Well, here's to wishing you the happiest of tears at just the right time! If you don't know why you're crying...think of me. You're in good company. ;) xoxo